2008 Lessons

With a new year on the horizons I have been thinking about all the things that have changed this last year for us. I had a lot planned and a lot of goals when I set out this last year. Some (well most) of them ended up changing as we were blind sided by a lot of things in life that seemed out of our control.

These changes made for a very stress filled year in many respects but also led me to re-think what is important to me and really caused me to focus in on the important aspects of my life. I get so caught up in "success" that sometimes I forget how truly successful I really am where it really matters.

Through all the ups and downs of this last year, I think the best part was that I learned more about myself and what is truly important to me which seemed to make all the "other stuff" kind of fall into place in the end.

Christmas Feelings

I was thinking today that it is Christmas time again. That means that it is time for my annual Christmas time bashing... This year though, I am not really up to it :)

I have been softening in many ways over the last year or so and one of those ways is in the way I feel toward Christmas. I suppose that it is not all bad. Sure the commercialism and frenzied state of mind that everyone seems to be in still gets on my nerves but the underlying good things are still there I suppose.

BTW, this doesn't mean that I like Christmas music, shopping or decorating the tree any more than I used to, it only means that I may be more prone to tolerate such behavior in others without the usual Grinch-like comments ;)

A New Book

I have been reading a book titled "Reimagining The Church" by Frank Viola, it is proving to be a great read and a very thought provoking book on the form and function of the Church (a subject that I'm in passionate pursuit of).

Amongst the wealth of things that the book covers in the first few chapters there is one question that he asks that has really got me thinking about how I understand the bible when it comes to the church.

The question is basically: on what basis do we determine what teachings are meant to be normative and timeless in regards to church function and what is merely cultural adaptability?

This question has got my mind reeling as I try to think of a filter through which to approach the New Testament books (especially the book of Acts) to figure out what of their practices we should be continuing and which of them were simply due to their particular cultural setting.

Mountain Climbing

I have been so consumed by business in the last few weeks that I have not posted anything about my recent AWESOME experience climbing Torreys, one of Colorado's many mountains with a summit over 14,000 feet above sea level!

We, David Marooney, Jon Regner and myself, made a 3 day trip of it. We set out from our homes at about 9:30pm on a Friday night and finally reached a road that Jon's Accord could not travel without falling apart at about 11:00pm. We geared up and hiked in about 3 miles in the middle of the night, it was clear and there were an amazing amount of stars visible along with the most glorious view of the milky way that I have ever experienced.

THE COLD NIGHT -

We finally reached a good spot to make camp at about 1:30pm (I think). We set up camp, and after a little bickering over where to hang a "bear bag" we went to sleep in our tent snuggled up in our warm sleeping bags... that is to say, Dave and I were warm, Jon had decided to brave the 20 something temperatures in his hammock (a decision that he began to regret in about an hour after going to sleep as his limbs slowly grew numb from the cold).

Long about 5:30am in the morning Dave says to me, "you awake", to which I replied "yep, you?, and then we proceeded to wake Jon's cold stiff personage up and prepare for the mountain...

Jon and I had no idea what we were in for as we had (as we usually do) left the route planning to Dave, our resident boy scout and map buyer. I personally like surprises when it comes to adventures such as this so long as Dave lets me know what type of climbing conditions to prepare for.


THE ASCENT-

The next few hours consisted of traveling up an open field of loose soccer ball sized rocks before getting to an area that was more cliff like that we had to cross before coming to a more typical trail. A few more hours of trial and then we found ourselves on terrain that we all felt to be quite traitorous as we were straddling a house-back-shaped peak of rock looking down to the left and the right to nothing but a couple thousand feet of steep rocky slopes! We worked our way across about 30 yards of this ridge to a spot that involved scaling a rock face that was only about 15' wide but seemed to be much harder than it looked due to our fatigued leg muscles and lack of mental stamina at this point (not to mention oxygen).


THE SUMMIT -

After successfully coming across this portion, with adrenaline and excitement souring, we only had another couple hundred yards of icy snow to pass to the summit!

An amazing summit at that, by this time in the day (about 12:30) the clouds were rolling in and we could see 3 separate rain/thunder storms miles in the distance with clear beautiful skies directly over head. An experience that is worth the struggle every time.

THE TREK DOWN -

The trip down was long as we decided not to go back the way we came, climbing up is an entirely different story than down climbing. So we went back to camp the long way down the opposite side of the mountain, through a valley , up and over a smaller ridge and back down to camp through some amazing wooded areas. We met some hunters scouting for Mountain Goats and saw some very interested birds that I can't remember the name of. Anyway, it was a long way down and by the time we got to camp you could tell that the sky was about to break loose with some rain so we hurried to get our rain gear on and prepare for a cold wet night.

CAMPING AFTER A LONG JOURNEY -

We scoured the woods for fire wood and Jon built us a fire ( Dave is on strike form fire building in the woods until we get as good at it as he is I guess :) Lucky for me, by the time I got back with some kindling to use Jon had a fire going! The rain finally broke and the skies cleared as we sat around enjoying the night with some freeze dried food and good company.

All in all a great trip, probably my favorite mountain climbing experience to date. My sleeping bag kept me warm, my boots kept my feet dry and warm and we made it to the summit and back again in one piece without any injury, a successful journey!

BTW, Jon decided to join us in the tent on the second night and slept much warmer.

Piano Business

I just thought that I would let you all know that I am lovin' the piano service business! I have been doing it exclusively now for 3 week and have experienced a great amount of success in finding and serving new clients from my website and from my Craigslist.com ads.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders as I go about building this business... it was about time that I step back to evaluate my life and take control of it once again.

I have been living the last 5 or so years in fear, fear that I wouldn't be able to succeed on my own. Fear that I wouldn't know what to do when a decision is needed, fear that I wouldn't be able to provide for the financial needs of my family.

Anyway, these last weeks have been awesome and relieving and everything that I had hoped for.

A good friend of mine always says, "if you do what you are supposed to do, you'll get what your are supposed to get", I am trying my best to live by this principle.

Back To Basics

After a long, long few months of being in limbo over what I am going to do for a living after being laid off at Carpenter's Touch, I have learned a few life defining things about myself and my goals:

1. I want peace and simplicity in life more than I want extravagant success and wealth (a huge breakthrough for me)

2. I want to do something with my hands (I am a craftsman at heart I think)

3. I want to have a deep satisfaction in whatever I do for a living more than I want a huge paycheck and status symbols (again, something that I am just coming to grips with)

4. I want freedom to spend time with my daughters and wife and also to do things that are important to me like mountain climbing (despite what I have thought for years, I am beginning to think that you don't have to be among to super wealthy to have "time", you just have to be a little more strategic, creative and committed to making it happen than the average "Joe")

5. It sounds cliche I know, but I want to be my own boss! I want to be dependent on myself, to know that if I work hard and do what I supposed to do I will be rewarded for my efforts. I want this more than I want a huge paycheck... I would gladly take a pay cut to gain control and freedom.

Those things being learned, I have decided to launch back into the piano service business. I have placed some ads around the web and built a website and have seen some pretty good success from those venues, not enough to live on but for free advertising they have done well.

I will be putting the final touches this week on the acquisition/purchase of a 40 year old Denver based piano service business that I came across a few months ago and have been in the negotiations process for a while now. Anyway, we will hopefully be putting the final touches on the deal and sealing it up this week!

This is all very new and exciting for us and I am looking forward to being in control once again... something that I have missed for a long long time.

My Invite Systems Journey

I think that I have told this to most people but just for the record... I no longer work for Invite Systems, the internet marketing company that I had about a 3 month stint with. As is turns out they were not able to honor the agreement that we had for a base rate salary + commissions on sales... something about waiting on 4.5 million in venture capital before they can pay me.

Anyway, after having to wait and wait for paychecks and then have them be only half of what I expected I decided to cut ties week before last. I still have some work in front of me reporting them to the Labor Board and the BBB.

I have fallen back on the old faithful piano tuning business and hope to see us do well with it as I really enjoy it and can make decent money all while being my own boss and in control of my own destiny!

My Piano Tuning Website.... Feedback Please

Hey guys... My piano tuning website is finally up and running! I am looking for some feedback from whoever reads this article:

The site, www.DenverPianoTuners.com, was ranked on Google last week on the first page of a bunch of search terms and in the #1 & #2 spots for "Denver Piano Tuners" (the term that I was after the hardest).

Anyway, my quandary is this: I have been getting like 75 hits a day from Denver area residents which is great! The problem is that I have only gotten like 3 leads since the site was up. Is there something about the site that is turning people off? What are your thoughts and feelings on the look and feel, the content, etc.?

Any honest feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks.

Challenge...

I have been reading a book by Og Mandino for the last few months (it is a slow, one chapter at a time kind of read) called "University Of Success". He has compiled writings from some of the most influential and key speakers/authors of the past from Dale Carnegie to Benjamin Franklin to Napoleon Hill etc.

I read a chapter this morning that has got my soul stirred once again to live a life of satisfaction and meaning. The author was Dr. Wayne W. Dyer and in the quote that killed me was this:

"Look hard at you life. Are you doing what you'd choose to be doing if you had six months to live? If not, you'd better begin doing it because, relatively speaking, that's all you have. Given the eternity of time, thirty years or six months makes no difference. Your total lifetime is a mere speck. Delaying anything simply makes no sense."

Once again, I am left with this feeling that perhaps living a life that is not fulfilling really doesn't make sense. I know that this flies in the face of what most of us have been taught to believe (i.e life is pain, nobody is truly happy, fulfillment is merely a dream, etc.)

I guess the challenge that I am issuing is this: evaluate your life. See if there just might be something that you could be doing with it that would bring ultimate pleasure and fulfillment and maybe, just maybe you should go after it despite the naysayers. Despite the risk of failure and the potential pain that disrupting your current life may bring. Perhaps we should not simply settle for what we have and what we are but instead we should be going all out after the lives of our dreams now, today.

I find myself, so often, saying "when we retire", or "when the girls get older", or "once we have more money", maybe I should stop saying those things, stop allowing myself to put off life and starting trying to figure out how to live today?

I don't know, just a thought from a man that is so awfully tired of the same old same old of life and dreaming that perhaps life could be full of fulfillment, love, adventure, happiness and true success.

No More Prospecting!

I had a great chance to get to know the CEO of Invite Systems yesterday by having lunch with him. As it turns out he has been very impressed with my sales style and abilities and is going to start supplying me with prospects/appointments that the company generates... this means no more cold calling for me!

That is very exciting for me because that is the part of the job that I like the least. I have really enjoyed doing sales presentations and meeting business owners but the initial contacting and appointment setting just kills me for some reason.

Anyway, this all very good news to me. I just have to hope that I can continue to close at a 20% or greater rate so that they keep on sending the leads my way instead of to another rep.

On top of that, if I can prove that I can close company generated leads at a 20% closing ratio for 30 days, Invite is going to open up an office in Boulder/Broomfield and give me the Sales Manager position for the HWY 36 corridor/Boulder area!

1st Invite System Sales!

I sold my first two Invite Systems marketing packages this week! It has been a struggle for me to go out everyday and give presentations that don't result in sales but actually having a couple of people say "yes" in the last few days has been very encouraging!

Learning To Be Grateful

Gratefulness, what an elusive state of being! I am trying desperately to learn to live in a constant state of gratefulness. Those of you who know me, know that this is a hard one for me as I am always trying to get more, gain more ground, achieve more, be more, have more, more, more, more! In my constant need to more and better life (not just stuff but experiences, happiness, love, adventure etc.) I loose sight of all that I have.

My life, our lives as Americans, are so full of great things and opportunities! Even the "poorest" American is "richer" than 97% of the worlds population.

I really should have nothing to complain about. Yet, everyday I find something that doesn't go just right or experience something that rubs me the wrong way and I forget that I really have it made.

It's quite amazing how easily we loose sight of how great our lives are.

Anyway, I am trying to learn to live in gratefulness. When people think about Josh Lanier, I want them to think "wow, now there is a man that is grateful".

That is not to say that I am not going to continue to strive for the things listed above. But what it does mean is that I am not going to wait until I have them to be grateful. Because the reality is that even if I never achieve what I would label "success" in this life, I am truly blessed on a fundamental spiritual level and want for nothing...

Join me and be grateful towards God for what you are and for what you have been given.

My New Job

Sorry that I have not posted anything in a long while. I have been in a crazed state of searching for a new field after being a little tired and worn out by the home improvement industry. I have thoroughly enjoyed my almost 3 year stint with Carpenter's Touch but after a long list of reasons decided to try to move on about a month ago.

I began to look for my "dream job" (or something close). I wanted a job where I would be able to interact with small business owners helping them to grow their businesses through this tough economic time. I also wanted to be able to learn and promote e-marketing techniques.

Long story short, I found an e-marketing company that was looking for a sales agent to tackle the Boulder area and sent my resume off to them realizing that it was a long shot. They ended up calling me back the next week to conduct a "phone interview" and subsequently scheduled an "in person" interview between myself and the CEO, Randy Davis.

After both interviews they ended up offering me the job with a great base pay + commission structure that I really couldn't say "no" to.

I am now an Invite Systems Sales Agent-

Friday was my first day of actual in-the-field work and I scheduled 2 sales presentations to take place this coming week... not a bad first day.

Anyway, it's exciting to be on a new path and hopefully one that I can ride for the long haul into a carrier that is both challenging and rewarding!

New Phone Number.

Hello all.

Sarah and I have new local phone numbers:

Josh's Cell: 720-278-8672
Sarah's Cell: 720-2785492

Trying Not To "Shut Down"

This has been a tough week. I am living in that place that I get to every now and then where I am so stressed out that I tend to simply shut down. I get to this point where it is hard to believe that working harder is really going to produce more results.

I keep telling myself that massive action produces massive results and that nothing is going to change in life until I get out there and make it change.

The funny thing is that I am now in a position to make twice as much money in my business if I can pull off half the results that I used to! It is almost like I have been paralyzed with the fear of success. I know that sounds stupid but I am starting to think that I may just be afraid of what I might do and become if I actually had the money and freedom that I spend so much of my life pursuing.

The reality of making $7500-10k a month is staring me in the face and I can't get motivated to go and get it... I guess that my brain prefers the hunt more that the kill and once I get the opportunity to shoot I feel that I have reached my goal and go home.

I have finally put together a deal that I would have killed for for years and I am shutting down.

Whats the deal?

The Power Of Just Being

I had a great opportunity today to have lunch with Jan Cowles, a house church "coach", and talk about the Kingdom of God. Throughout our conversation I became aware of the true power of just letting go and allowing myself to be a child of God.

Over the last couple of years I have been able to sit back, heal, get over myself and my bitterness and so many other things... All the while I was thinking that once I was done healing that I would "get back in the game". I am now coming to realize that the goal is to "be" not to "do"!

The long and the short of it is that I have been thinking that when I get healed emotionally that I would somehow change the way I am living my life... I have decided that this way of living, this just being, is the way that I am supposed to be living.

Just to be a God honoring husband, father, son, friend, business owner, Starbucks customer, etc.

Just Be.

Getting Back Into God's Word

Many of you know that over the last couple of years I have sort of put my faith on hold... well, thats not exactly right, I didn't forsake God or stop caring about serving and obeying Him, I have just been kind of gliding so to speak.

Well, these last few weeks I have been more proactive in my faith and relationship with God by reading large amounts of His word and communing with the Holy Spirit on a scriptural level more than I have in a long while.

I started out by reading James, I read it 5 times in a 5 day period of time and then I moved onto 1 Peter and have agreed to read it 8 times this week, I am on my 5th read though today and I am loving it.

When we step back and let the Holy Spirit do what He does best (convict and teach us God's Word) we can start to see the power of living life in the Kingdom of God.

One of my favorite realities to this day is seen in a very real way during the creation account in Genesis where we see that when God speaks he creates, in his breath and words are the power to create! That is amazing, I need to be reminded of the the power of Gods word on a consistent basis.

If we want to change, if we want to see God's power unleashed in our lives and the lives of the people around us we need to allow Him to speak through the scriptures.

"All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be fully equipped for every good work." - 2Tim 3:16

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart". - Heb 4:12

Too Fast.

I was talking with Dave last night (briefly) about how fast time is going by these days. I don't know why exactly but the last 2.5 years (the time we have lived in CO) time has gone by lightning fast!

I could not believe it when I started to realize that:

I will have been with Carpenter's Touch for 3 years in a few months time.
We will have lived in our apartment for 2 years soon.
2008 is half way over.
Sophia will be a year old in 2 months....

What is amazing about time is that while some things fly by in life others seem to go soooo slowly, like pulling your way out of debt, learning to serve God and letting the Holy Spirit change your character, saving, getting through rough times etc.

Why is it that tough times and struggles seem to last ten times as long as the good stuff in life?

What A Week!

I hate to whine but I figure its better to do it here than to the people that I love.

I have had a sucky week! Its like everything I put my hand to this week is cursed. I am not sure what I could be doing wrong but I just cannot seem to break the code to life this week.

All I can hope for is that this pain and suffering does not continue too much longer or I am going to go CRAZY! I have definitely been "most likely to climb a tower" for most of this week

Anyway, I'm done now -

We're Not Alone

I searched the web this morning trying to find a guy that I had heard about back when we lived in FL, Neil Cole. I found and emailed him and to my surprise he emailed back within a few minutes with some very encouraging news.

There are others out there in Denver starting what they call "organic" or "house" churches! They are actually having a training event in Silverthorn, CO next weekend and I am going to try my best to get out there to find out what these people are like and what they are all about.

I have spent a few hours today searching through their network of websites and blogs trying to discover as much about them as possible and am very excited to see how we might be able to fit into the network of established house churches out here in the Denver Metro area.

Anyway, thought that you all might like to hear that I/we are not the only freaks that see though the system.

P.S Not only did Neil email me but in few short hours I had emails from 4 others in the Denver area as well. This has been a very encouraging day.

A Very Good Week

After having lived in what feels like a barren waste land for the last few months as far as business is concerned, This last week I finally broke out!

I contracted about 50k in good business in the last week and it feels good!

I don't know what is going on in the Denver market lately but everyone in my industry has been struggling just to get by. We are having a very tough time getting people to see the value of improving their homes.

I mean, the things that I sell, like replacement windows, siding and decks are all in the top 5 value adding improvements that you can do to your home and I can't get people to make the investment for some reason. Vinyl window replacement, on average, in 2007 had a 98.5% ROI! That is huge. But at the same time people that I talk to seem to be more concerned with driving a new BMW than improving their equity position in their homes... go figure.

Anyway, it has been a good week and I think that I have finally hit on some very key marketing and sales components that just maybe my competition has missed.

I am going to keep on giving it my best efforts and just maybe one day it will all be worth the effort.

Business Sustainability

I finally met the owner of the Heidie's Brooklyn Deli down the street from my apartment.

His name is Jerry, this is his first run at restaurant franchising and he says it is not going well. No matter what he does he can't seem to get people into his place for food and drink. He has been there for 2 + years and as he says "we are trying our best to make it to 3".

He got me thinking about business sustainability. I for one am tired of waking up in the morning wondering where my next client is going to come from. I need to figure out what systems that I can create and implement that will equate to business sustainability.

That is the key to business. If a business person can land a way to sustain a flow of business without having to constantly guess where to look, that person will find success in any industry.

I am currently searching for a cost effective way to sustain business in the Exterior Remodeling Industry. And I'm very excited about a few ways of marketing that, to my knowledge, no one in this industry has ever used.

I have spent one day so far in the "beta testing" mode with this new model. It's clean, it's simple and it's sustainable! We'll see what happens.

My Brother Dave...

is a good man. I just want to say that having a friend like David is the most amazing thing in the world. We have been through thick and thin together and he continues to care about me and help through the crap in life. I only hope that my friendship with him means as much to him as it does to me and that one day I can repay him for all he has done and is doing in my life.

(Thanks for the talk last night bro)

Lamentations

I have been a royal pain in the &ss to every one that knows me for the last few weeks. I don’t really know what is wrong with me other than simple life stresses starting to ware me out. I am just so tired all of the time… I slept for 13 hours last night and I am exhausted this morning at the thought of another day and week staring me in the face.

I thought that I had all of this handled but it keeps creeping back up on me.

I feel so manic all of the time, I can start the day out sick to my stomach I am so tired, swing up to feeling that I could take on an army in the afternoon and then plummet into the depths of despair by dinner time. I have tried mixing up my diet, not drinking any alcohol, quitting coffee, exercising, not exercising… everything that I can think of.

I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that when I am on top of my game I am really on top of it. I mean, I am freaking amazing in the amount of stuff that I can get done and the people that I can motivate and the life that I can lead. I want to be that way all of the time no matter what but I can’t seem to break the code.

The People I Left Behind...

I am finally coming to a place where I think that it is time for me to make contact with the people of my past. Some I have hurt some have hurt me. Some I have let down, some have let me down. Some of them I simply left in the lurch with no real answer to why I fell of the face off the earth.

When I look back over my short life of 25 years I see that I have been really quite restless and that, I believe, is why I have done so many things that were so reckless. Most large decisions in my life to date were made a point of total and complete desperation… I had to do something.

I am trying not to run any more, I am trying not to make decisions in desperation any more. My life is becoming more and more on purpose, I still find that I am moving in a state of restlessness most days. I don’t know why exactly, but I feel restless all of the time.

Anyway, back to the point.

It is time to contact some people that have been very important to me in the past but I have lost touch with and simply say that I am sorry if I caused them any pain, regret or disappointment. I don’t need a restored relationship, all I really need and want is peace of mind knowing that I have made things as right as I can with our current circumstances.

What has been done has been done. If you are one of these people, you know who you are, please accept this blog entry as a formal “I am so sorry if I hurt you” letter from my heart to yours. Please forgive me.

If you want, you can contact me… you can email me through the “Profile” links to the right.

Business

Business is hard. Some weeks I feel like I am on top of my game and no one could stop me. Others, I function like a total looser.

I guess that is the curse that I have bought into by being in the Sales and Marketing world every day of my life... sometimes the numbers stack up in my favor and sometimes I cannot get a sale to save my life, the old numbers game.

Right now I have over 140k in outstanding bids and cannot seem to get any of them off the fence. What is the deal? Some say we are in a recession but can that stop me from working and at least trying to make sales? The Answer is no, all it really means is that I have to work harder than I should have to for less money at the end of the tunnel!

Why can't I break the code and have abundance in my life when it comes to financial success? I work harder, smarter and am more dedicated and committed than 99% of the people that I know. I have positioned myself in such a way to maximize the potential of my efforts (i.e the more leads and sales that I get the more money that I can make... the sky is truly the limit)! What is the challenge here? Am I simply cursed to spend my life in toil and un-fruitful labor? If so I wish that someone would just tell me so I can stop dreaming of the day when I can perhaps spend my life's energy pursuing something other that paying bills and maintaining a positive bank balance!

Oh well, I guess the bottom line is that I will keep working and keep trying and maybe, just maybe, it will pay off down the road.

My So-Called "Mentors"

i woke this morning thinking about all those people in my life who, over the past few years, have become more and more distant. i do not know what the challenge is really. i know that many, many people disagree with my spiritual perspectives, convictions and practices. But, what i don't understand is that despite my continued asking and pleading, none of the so called "mentors" in my life will honestly come to me and help me see the "err" of my ways.

All everyone wants to do is tell me that they think that i am wrong and that i am not in line with the God of the Bible but they refuse to come to me and actually help me see where i am wrong and what i should change!

i know that i can be abrasive and seem overly confrontational but those weaknesses should not stop those that truly love me from coming to me and helping me to serve God in truth.

i am sick and tired of hearing third and fourth hand that people i love and care about disagree passionately with my lifestyle but don't have the courage to come to me and discus the issues they have with me like an adult. (i am not a monster!)

If you are reading this and you are one of those people please, please, i am on my knees begging you to act like the follower of Christ that you claim to be and help your brother to see the way. i apologize in advance if your feelings get hurt in the interaction with me, for everything that i believe, i believe for what i think is true biblical reasoning and i am passionate about following the Lord Jesus Christ. So i may get a little uptight when we talk about our faiths because it is of paramount importance to me that we know and live by the truth.

Our Current State

A man that has lost an eye or was born blind will spend his entire life mourning his loss and cursing his fate. No man that has two functioning eyes spends his life in dismay over the fact that he doesn't have three…. This shows that we (humanity) have fallen from some higher state of perfection, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

If we, somewhere in our subconscious nature had never known perfection we would not mourn its loss or our current imperfections.

B-Day Thoughts

Today I turn 25... Still so young! Most days I feel twice my age for some reason. i am not saying that i am more mature... just more stressed out than most of my contemporaries. i am not really sure why, other other than the fact that i try more and fail more than the average Joe.

i don't know why i do it to myself really, for some reason i feel like if i am not bighting off more than i can chew on a regular basis than i am not going to ever get ahead of the pack. Maybe i have some sort of sick need to prove to myself that i can land on my feet time after time.

Anyway, my b-day is always a time that i feel weird because people around me want me to feel good and happy about myself and all i do is feel like crap all day because i end up looking at my life and thinking about how much farther down the road i should be if were who i want to be.

i certainly don't feel that i deserve any praise or respect for where i have gotten. That is not to say that i am behind.... i am just not as far ahead of the pack as i feel i should be given the opportunities and relationships that i have been blessed with in my life.

People like my Grandfather, who taught me the spirit of entrepreneurship at a very young age. And my many "pastors" who poured themselves into me counting on me to carry on in advancing the Kingdom of God. And my wife who continually encourages and supports me in everything that i do (and has been doing this for since we were like 14!) My daughters who remind me how great life is every time i look at them. My best friend who has always been right there for me through thick and thin even when i did not do the same for him. My parents who have raised me and taught me so many of life's essentials (not to mention feeding, clothing and otherwise providing for me for 18 long years!)

So many people to appreciate who have supported and helped me and this is all i did with it in 25 years of life?

If you know any of these people you will understand why i beat myself up a little every time i think about it. With these people as a support network i should have conquered the world by now!

New Years Resolutions

i just finished the "2008 Marketing Plan" and "Projected 2008 Sales Goals" for my company and it got me thinking about New Years resolutions.

i have always thought of the whole idea as being asinine but i am slowly starting to change my mind. i think that the biggest problem i have with the whole thing is that people set goals for the New Year but have no plan on how to achieve their new goals... they have no strategy.

This year, i would implore you to treat your life like a business. No business goes into a new season of growth without a plan, any business that fails to set goals and create a plan to actually achieve their goals WILL fail. Over 98% of new business fail within the first year of their life, why, because they don't have a target and they don't have a realistic strategy for hitting their target.

Don't live your life this way. Treat your life like a business, write down a set "sales goals" (i.e things that you personally want to accomplish, become, create etc.) and from that create a"marketing plan" (i.e an exact and strategic plan on how you are going to hit your "sales goals").

So many great business practices should be brought into our personal lives, these are just a couple of them.

Anyway, if your have written goals and you have a plan on how you are going to accomplish them the odds are actually in your favor!

You can be, create and accomplish all that you want to in life if you simply stop walking through it acting like you are blind and ignorant. - Josh Lanier

The Truth Behind The "I"

When on a mission trip to China a few years back I was deep in conversation with a student on a college campus... I was teaching him to write a sentence in English that involved the use of "I".

After we had finished, he made an observation of Americans vs. the Chinese that I will never forget. He told me that in Chinese they always use lower case letters when referencing themselves in writing, it is a form of humility and respect for the person(s) that the writing is addressing. His comment to me was, "are Americans really so proud that they consider themselves better than even those that they are writing to? It could be a state official or their best friend or a parent or someone that they have never met, do they simply assume that they are better than that person?"

It is true, in a way, if you are not proud to be an American your not one. Well, from now on when I can get away with it, i am going to use the lower case "i" to refer to myself.

Whenever you see an "i" in my writing please take note that i respect you, i value you and i am here to serve you as your friend, son, brother, husband, father, co-worker or simply a fellow human.

Old Friends

I have to confess something; I have a love/hate relationship with Social networking sites.

The reason, I guess I don't really understand the word "friend". In my book friends are people who you would trust with your life or the lives of your family. A friend is someone that you want to be at every major/minor event of your life. A friend is someone that you want to share your heart with, your dreams with and your passions with. A friend is someone that you cry with, laugh with and mourn with.

I have been blessed to have many people that I would consider my friends. The problem that I have is that I apparently was not considered a friend of theirs and that is why I love Social Network sites; they point out that some people are not actually your friends. Sure, they will add you to their "friend" list but all you really are to them is a number on a page that they can brag about.

9 times out of 10 when I send comments or otherwise try to get in touch with old friends that I still care deeply about they either respond with one cold message or completely ignore my attempts to re-kindle the relationship.

I have never considered myself to that pest of a friend that people just put up with.... but I guess I am, or maybe people just "put up" with all their friends. I don't know.

What I do know and what these sites have made exceedingly clear to me is that I have a totally different definition of what a friend is.

My current disposition is that I offered my hand in true friendship and I have spent countless hours and un-measurable amounts of love and energy pouring myself into people who are, in the end, nothing more than users. They take and can't/won't give back or even offer gratitude.

I sound bitter I know, but the truth is I am simply incredulous at those "old friends" of mine. And I am coming to grips, slowly but surely, that "old friends" is really all that they are, no longer true friends.

You think you know someone, you think that you are equally committed. But hey, friends by the worlds definition are a dime a dozen so go ahead and abandon people who no longer have the energy to fill you and go suck someone else dry!

What Makes You Tick?

I have been thinking a lot lately about why I do what I do, what makes me tick? Why do I keep getting up in the morning? What drives me to keep going after my goals and dreams? Why don't I just give it up and settle for the status quo? Why can't I seem to quit?

It is like no matter what I cannot break through and really achieve the life that I am after but I can't stop pursuing it either... what is that?

When I look around the world I see a whole bunch of people who have successfully given up. They have settled in into life as it is and apparently don't desire more out of it. How is that done? What gives people the ability to give up on their dreams and be so happy to do it?

I have to believe that at one point everybody around you had dreams and goals that they were striving to achieve and become and "be". Those things are a vital part of life as we know it, they are one of the things that separate us from the animals. We have the ability to dream of what could be instead of just accepting what is.

Maybe that is why I can't stop; because I value my dreams, they are a part of me. They are so deep a part that I feel like if I gave up on them I would become no more than an animal acting on nothing more than instinct and doing nothing more than responding to the world around me.

What are your dreams? What have you given up on? What are you still striving for despite the fact that it may never come to fruition?... What makes you tick, dreams or instinct?